I picked this book up at a library rummage sale today for a quarter.  It’s called Are You Running With Me, Jesus? and was written in 1965 by Malcolm Boyd, an American Espicopal Priest.  It is a collection of prayers, written by him, all very personal to him.  The thing that caught my attention right away was the cigarette in his mouth on the cover.  A priest smoking a cigarette?  Very unpolitically correct.  I found out very quickly though that the book was very non-PC, and that this priest was willing to deal with issues that were very touchy in the 1960s, and in some cases still are.  His prayers cover such topics as racism, pre-marital sex, homosexuality and films.  If the priest at the church I was raised in ever talked about homosexuality, I really do believe that at least one of the older members of the congregation sitting in the back would have to leave in an ambulance, assuming they heard what was said.  Malcolm Boyd has no problem discussing such topics.  It is apparent from reading this book he is a very nontraditional priest, and would be even today!  He is still alive, and he is openly gay, a fact about himself he revealed in 1976.  I think the image of him on the cover, dressed as a priest, with a cigarette in his mouth really sums him up quite nicely: A man of great faith, a true son of God, but an individual too; a man with his own thoughts and ideas, unafraid to stand for what he believes in.  His prayers have a very personal, existential quality to them, and he himself knows this and states in the book’s introduction:

I have not attempted to root out the person of Malcolm Boyd from these prayers, for it was Malcolm Boyd who prayed them.  Prayer must be personal, imbedded in the ground of one’s own being as a person meeting God.  These prayers are not intended as impersonal exhibits in a vacuum.  They are the prayers of one man.  It is hoped they may be useful, as signposts, to other men and women.

To me, this shows a very deep, personal understanding on his part to his relationship with God, one that goes well beyond reciting memorized prayers and going through the motions of religious traditions.

Malcolm has a very interesting idea of prayer, one that goes well beyond simply speaking to the Almighty, but instead encompasses all aspects of life.  Earlier in the introduction, he states  “…I have come to learn that real prayer is not so much talking to God as just sharing his presence.”

The following is a prayer from his book, titled On Work.  Malcolm discusses the idea of finding prayer in everyday activity.  I find this very interesting as there are similar themes in Buddhism, in how work can be a form of meditation, when one “just works” and takes to the task.

David says he prays without being aware of it when he paints, Jesus.  He says this is the real link which keeps him creating and able to function as an artist.

Is this true, Lord?  Can David’s painting be praying?  If so, is it possible Richard prays in his Social Work studies, and Henry when he edits his magazine… Ruth while she types letters, and Stofer when she cleans people’s apartments?

Help me to pray that way too, Lord.  I want to pray in my doing and being, Jesus.

I find these views of prayer to be much more relevant than what I was taught is prayer as a child.  This view of prayer, as something individual and unique for each person that encompasses their entire being seems to me to display a very close and meaningful relationship with God.  The more traditional concepts of prayer and worship have struck me for some time as being largely meaningless, as so many (but not all) people are simply reciting words from memory and badgering God with there various earthly concerns.  Some are sincere, yes; others, not so much.

For me personally, I do not view the collected oneness of our universe in the image of the traditional Judeo-Christian God.  But at the same time, I will not say that God does not exist, or that the image of that which that there is no whicher as God is wrong.  There is nothing wrong with God, or with believing in him.  So do I pray?  Yes, though rarely.  I can’t really say why.  It might come out of childhood habits, I’m not sure.  In any case, I find nothing wrong with it, and so I do it.  Personally, I feel it probably does more to comfort me than anything, and whether it increases my connection with God, or Tao, or whatever you would like to call it, I cannot say.  In his book Cloud Hidden: Whereabouts Unknown, Alan Watts writes regarding the supreme being:

This Happening may be called God, or the Tao, or the All-ah!  You may even think of it as a conscious being, but if so, do not place upon it the burden and the bore of holding perpetual court to be flattered, petitioned, whined at, wheedled, apologized to, and howled at with hymns.  Saint Paul ordered that women should be silent in church, but he himself prayed without ceasing.  If you were Jesus, wouldn’t you have turned to him and said, “Can’t you be quiet for a while?”

Now, I think Watts makes a good point here, thought I feel he was too harsh.  There is a lot to be said for silent contemplation and meditation, and certainly many people who are bored themselves with hymns and prayers run the risk of boring God right along with them.  However, there is a lot to be said for the power of prayer as well, and for many with a true faith in God, it provides the ultimate connection between them and the Almighty.  And when it is personal, and meaningful such as the prayers of Malcolm Boyd, then I think it is a wholly acceptable way of making that connection, just as much as meditation is for others.

If you pray, then I encourage you to pick up this book (it has been reissued and is still available) and if you’d like to learn more about Malcolm Boyd, you can check out his official website.